Made it through

Made it through appointments today....
it was very difficult for me!!!

Tdoc is worried... and has reason to be I guess...
I don't want to live like this... I'm so tired of the pain.

If I can't pull myself out of the darkness and despair in the next couple of weeks, she would have to put me some place where I can not harm myself.

I have already made a commitment to take care of nephews and nieces next week... (edit---other arrangements were made...no watching kids for me.)

Then comes Christmas.... Not really looking forward to this...

We'll see how it goes when I go back in a couple of weeks...

I don't see how things might change as my pain isn't going to just go away!!!