Can't remember...

I drove to the doctor and back home again today.... funny thing is.... I don't remember the trip there or back. I know... that's scary.

I can't even remember if the radio was on or not... doesn't matter... music doesn't matter to me. I can't even listen to my play list.... those songs once meant something to me... now all I feel is pain when I listen...

I remember talking with my therapist and a couple of things about our conversation but not much.

I was feeling fairly good physically this morning... but by late afternoon something had lit the fire in my body.... This has caused me quite a bit of anxiety and panic... I couldn't leave my room for about 7 hours and then when I was finally able it was out...do what I needed and right back in...

The television has been on all day...but I have no idea what was on. Background noise.

I wish I could get out more of the clutter that is in my mind. Lots of anxiety, worry, and confusion.

I guess I should go to bed but sleep eludes me... I may have to take my anxiety medicine just to get my brain to go to sleep.

Living in constant severe pain of any kind is torture... I am trying to hold on...but fear that I am losing my grip.