It's dark outside and inside too.

Looking out my window for a while tonight...

Not much to see.. a security light, the flashing light from a cell antenna...

Mostly darkness... my friend--my foe.

The night is filled with a void, an emptiness.

My heart feels much the same...

I'm tired... I am hanging on by my finger tips.. ever growing weaker.

I'm lost... too many thoughts that make little sense bouncing around.

I can't sort through the thoughts... they are way to heavy for me to want to mess with.

I don't care about much anymore... My deepest fear is coming true...

It's dark, I'm tired, I'm alone with no where to go...No one to see if I had a place to go...

No hope, no desires, no dreams, no goals... <----too afraid to have these anymore...to painful.

The best I can do many days is to just get some rest... sleep is hard... too painful to relax, a mind that won't shut off, a heart that has a hard time beating.

Medicines help to take an edge off the pain... the physical, the mental, and the emotional...but not much...

If I do get some sleep, I wake in a panic and never feel rested. I find myself often waking in a room that is not my own and not where I fell asleep.

It's dark outside and inside too...