Calmer today

I am calmer today in some aspects....but NOT calm in my life.

I have become a person who wants to jump from A to Z with out ever stopping to just B.

I want the pain to end... I'm tired and mostly feeling like I am losing grip on my life.

No more worries about getting the dreaded handicap placard.
Solution found. (Thank you!)

I wish I were able to really sleep... I keep waking up every 30 to 45 minutes...
Most of the time I am awake for hours in between...
Sometimes my eyes are only open for moments.. look at the time, change the channel on the tv..then I close my eyes and lay there trying to fade back into sleep.

Some would tell me to turn off the tv... I have tried this but I only end up having nightmares...BAD ones.

Even when I am sleeping... I can hear everything that is going on around me... any movement in the house and any little noise outside.

My physical pain is through the roof!!!
Mentally and emotionally.... I feel like I am falling off a mountain with no end in sight.