Lonely

I wonder how many people actually know what it feels like to be lonely?

I mean truly lonely...
You have no one to talk with because there is no one around... you only hear the echo of your own breath or the beat of your own heart.... Mostly you hear the voices in your own head.

You have no one to call.
Sure you have phone numbers on your phone but you know that you really can't call them.
They are there... just in case.

What does just in case mean?? It's there if you need it? Deep down you know that you really can't call them even it you really did need someone... they were just being nice when they gave you their number... OR... it's an old number to someone who used to be....

Unable to go anywhere and even if you could there is no where to go.
There is no one to see... you know you just can't stop by some one's house... no matter what---they really don't want you around.

Why? Because they are someone you used to know.... someone who used to be a friend... someone who now barely qualifies as an acquaintance.

I wish I could better explain what lonely feels like.... mostly for me it is just a very empty feeling.

Lonely is normal for me... it is my only friend... constant companion.... something I am used to...