Dreams...

Not to long ago I was asked what my dreams for the future are....

I replied... I gave up my dreams long ago. I truly have....

I remember what a couple of my dreams were.... but it's best not to dwell on them... they can never come true now.

I am trying to figure out who I am... I used to define myself by what I did for a living... I was good at my jobs... I worked hard to educate myself to fulfill the duties of each job with great success.

Now... I'm trying to figure out really... Who am I? The basics of it... I am a daughter, sister, aunt, and friend. I sometimes, am not successful at these things.

As a daughter---I try to do what is asked of me and try to do as much as I can to help my parents. (I know it may not appear this way sometimes....but I really do try) I wonder if my parents know that I LOVE THEM... and I am SO grateful for all they have done for me.

As a sister...I don't know...I try to be there for my brothers and sisters....many times it's just listening to them when they need someone to talk to. I would do anything I can do for them...I don't think they know how much they mean to me and that I LOVE them.

As an aunt....WOW... I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE all of my nieces and nephews... I would do anything that I can for them!!! I'm a taxi service---usually with a last minute call, a sitter when needed, a cheerleader when I can get there. I used to go watch my angels do whatever it is they were doing, where ever they were doing it. I miss those times.

As a friend.... well... I'm not really sure where I stand with this one. I don't have many friends...I'm not good at making friends and it seems that I am terrible when it comes to keeping them. The friends I have I am grateful for.... they have helped me through some of the roughest times of my life... some have went down a separate road---I miss them and hope that our roads will cross again somewhere in the future... some friends---our roads are crossing again and at the time seem to be running a bit parallel for which I am cherishing. I wish I could find a way that lets them know how much they mean to me and how grateful I am for all they have done for me. They truly hold a special place in my heart.

As far as my future.... I wish I had a clue. Lord...if your listening...I'd really like a clue as to what your plans for me are... I know my life is meant for something...but I feel as though I am just taking up space.