The last few weeks have been terribly hard on me. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick to my stomach, my heart races, and I just want to crawl into a dark corner under some heavy blankets.
Just thinking of leaving the house and I start sweating, shaking, my head starts hurting and with in minutes I have a full blown migraine... not to mention my stomach starts flip-flopping around.
I really haven't left my room for more than the basic necessities...If I had a bathroom, fridge, and microwave in here I wouldn't leave. I just don't want to...it really does freak me out and is a scary, scary feeling.
I signed up to take a class that a pastor friend of mine is presenting... it started four weeks ago and I've managed to go once. :( It really hurt to sit there...not to mention the drive up and back in the dark seemed to take forever. I really wanted to do this but each time as the day approaches... I physically get sick.
I guess I will have to try to take this course the next time around....
Thus is the life of someone who has severe anxiety.... I know I am letting people down because I can't do what I really want to as most things involve leaving the house. It's hard... many don't understand.... I DON'T UNDERSTAND!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
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