There's a darkness that surrounds and consumes me...
There's an emptiness that fills me...
Tears are flowing down my face all hours of today...
Pain is unrelenting... physically demolished, mentally dead, emotionally vacant.
I have no reason to continue on...
Nothing I can do...
Have nothing to offer...
Hope is gone...
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
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The dark and emptiness must feel crushing :(
ReplyDeleteI know it can be like such a deep helplessness . everything you used to do or could do...have been stolden from you and replaced with those feeling and PAIN . all those emotions, thoughts anger, frustration , LOSS ,wonders...etc are like a big ball of barbed wire twisted inside. Like you said emotionaly vacant :(
Crying off and on all day and night is the only thing ya can do. It is a way to let a tiny bit of it out , It needs to happen.
You have reason to continue ... for those you love and THOSE THAT LOVE YOU AND FOR YOURSELF!
Love is something you have to offer and it is something you can do. You can help others with R.S.D who are going threw this. You have this Journal to offer and it needs a decent ending.
I have Hope IN you. I have Hope FOR you .Even if you dont have any in yourself right now .
Keep fighitng Keep kicking and screaming. Keep writing .
Writing is a good way to kick and scream. get those papers into your dcotors and into files records... over and over and over... kicking and screaming on paper in your files ...with your doctors.. on the phone when needed... like your kickingcing and screaming into the system .
Praying for imporvment in your life and your soul
May you quickly get the care and changes you so deeply need . May you find Hope is right around the corner waiting for you .
Keep fighting the fight. .. Kicking and screaming