Even a beautiful day...

The sun is shining, the wind is blowing... it looks like a nice day.

I look out the window but have no desire to step out the door.

I am hurting, REALLY HURTING---having RSD bites.

My feet are all curled up tight today and feel as though they fell asleep months ago and are just now beginning to wake up. I know the pain will increase when I go to stand up. My right foot is still black and blue... nearly four weeks ago while gingerly walking down some steps... I heard a crunch---instant major pain and swelling. I don't know what happened...broken bone ---maybe.... dislocation --- possibly. Painful --- definitely!

You may be wondering why I don't just wait until this feeling goes away and then get up... you see... with RSD... this feeling NEVER goes away. It's a constant companion, one that I have come to know quite well. This feeling covers my whole body... outside and in.

Each key stroke I type feels like billions of hot, burning, stinging needles jabbing me as I touch the keys with even the lightest of touches. I feel like I've broken a bone in my left hand..I don't think I have but it sure hurts that bad.

I am thirsty but am tired of room temperature drinks. You see... Cold and Hot are very painful to me. This is true for my whole body but I long to drink an ice cold drink without severe pain when it hits the inside of my mouth... throat.... stomach.

I can't get comfortable... sitting increases pain in my legs, hips, and back. Laying down helps...but it is still very painful where ever my body touches the bed. Standing is very painful as my feet are curled and it feels as though I am standing and walking on a bed of fire hot shards of glass.

I can find no true relief from the pain.

I try not to concentrate on how much my body is in pain... but some times, most times it takes over and consumes my whole exsistance. Then this causes a whole new set of pain problems---mental and emotional pain.

Living with all three pain "syndromes" is way more than one person should ever have to endure... sometimes fighting is not an option... often I just have to give in and let them do what ever they are going to do as I just blank out. I can't deal... I just can't.

Many times each day... I just want to give up.