Lonely... :(

Sitting in the dark... that's where you can find me 99.9% of the time...

Television is on but I can't tell you what program.... it stays on 24/7.
I keep it on because without it my life would be silent.

Silent, if not for the screaming in my head. Maybe I keep the television on in some sort of attempt to drown out the screams...I don't know.

Lonely.... that's an understatement. My phone it rarely rings... I have no friends who stop by and visit... My emails are packed, but mostly with junk... I delete the junk and sometimes delete other mail because I've either seen it before---I get a lot of forwarded email...often I've gotten them from more then one person... you see, my email list is mostly comprised of family members who send out bulk mails...then another family member forwards what was sent to all of us...poof, delete....it's gone.

It seems to me that mostly I am the one in a "friendship" that initiates contact... I have a few one-sided relationships... ha... 99.99999% of my relationships are this way.

I don't really "fit-in" with family or friends... I really don't expect a call, a visit, an email from anyone...

I'm sure some may read this and think... grow up and stop having a pity party... Let me say... I've gotten past the pity party stage... these things are now fact... and it's lonely.