On sharing...

It's often hard for me to say what is going on with me... by this I mean... speaking the words and telling friends and family what is going on in my head... and/or how much pain I am in...physically, mentally, emotionally... or even sharing the emptiness of my soul....

Mostly, I keep things to myself... I don't want to burden anyone and I definitely do not want anyone's pity!! I also definitely do not want to hurt anyone in any way.

In the past, I opened up and let a few people know how things were going... shared or tried to share with them the darkness that I live with daily.

I found out that this was not a good thing to do... I found out that I was really hurting people and I didn't know it.... I never dreamed that by telling others about the darkness and what I was doing to end the darkness... it would hurt someone else.

I learned a long time ago to how to bottle up.... I think this is the best thing to do so that no one gets hurt by me.

I know there is one safe place for me to talk... well, mostly safe---This place could take action and send me somewhere they believe would be safe for me... I don't know. I also think there is one other place that I can talk... again... not 100% sure, but maybe it's safe.

I do write here about the darkness, voices, and my constant companion...pain. I know that if someone can't handle or doesn't want to hear what I am saying... they have the option to not look, don't read, or only read the sections they want to...

Hmmm....
Sigh.....