A few days since last post

Empty... that's how I feel right now... I know.. it's no difference than any other day.... just feels more so today.

I didn't enjoy the Holiday at all... I stayed in my room, in the dark, television was on but I have no clue what shows were playing.

I haven't left my room much at all lately... to go to the bathroom or MAYBE grab a bite to eat... I MAY be out of my room for a total of 30 to 45 minutes a day total.

I am hurting so much!!! I feel the pain more and more intense each day!!! I don't know how this happens or even know that it was possible....but it's real and it's PAINFUL!

My body feels as though it might explode at any moment.... I feel so much pressure in my muscles and in my bones!! I HURT SO MUCH!!!!!! My skin feels like a severe burn and touch is EXCRUCIATING!!!!

Parts of my body feel ice cold while other parts feel like they are on fire!!!!

I am still not sleeping much and getting no rest at all!!! The sleep I do get just doesn't restore... I wake up in a PANIC!!!

I just wish that it would ALL END!!! One more breath feels like one to many to me.... Yes, BREATHING HURTS too....it feels like FIRE on the inside and on my skin as I exhale.

If I fall asleep and don't wake... it's okay!