New Year dread...

As the New Year approaches the more dread I feel.

I just want it ALL to end!!
I want it ALL to go away!!

I want to find a bridge, a tall building, a parking garage...
I want to find a big concrete wall or bridge brace...
I could round up all my medicines...
I just want to make the pain go away!!

I want to disappear...
Does anyone really care?? Why would they... I don't care...
Does it matter? Doesn't matter to me... nothing does.
Do I matter? I couldn't care less...

I have no reason to keep on keeping on... I have no hope... it has faded away.

I'm not going anywhere. :o(
I don't even have the energy or will to do these things!