Hospital...

I was asked that why...if I am in so much pain (mentally and physically)...don't I go to the hospital??

The answer is simple and complicated....
No insurance... no cash to pay for it myself... don't need the added stress of this..

What are they going to do??
Give me pain medicine? I think not!! Not when I am severely allergic to pain medicines!!

What else can they do for severe pain??? Nothing that I am aware of....

Give me medicine for my depression? I'm already on it.

Give me medicine for my manic thoughts? On it too!

Give me medicine for my anxiety?? Take that too!!

Make me talk to someone....uhm... NO! I can't just talk to anyone...that's a HUGE fear of mine.

So...basically...they are going to lock me in a room alone and won't be able to do anything for me.

I can stay at home...where people are in and out...I can take my meds as prescribed...I can make a phone call and be put in contact with someone I trust.

What would you do? Go to someplace and have to explain yourself and situation to someone who may or may not choose to believe you... OR stay at home and do what you can do until you can get into the doctor's office?? I choose the second.... I believe I will recognize an emergency situation and will go to the nearest hospital if that happens.

My choice is not what "professionals" want to hear... many think that just because I don't go to the hospital that I am not in the amount of severe pain that I feel. I was raised to not run to the hospital unless I am severely bleeding, impaled, or a bone is sticking out of my skin. I have learned to "deal" with pain out of necessity...unless one of the above was happening, I didn't even tell my parents...that was how I was raised.